Today I spent the afternoon with the Holy Spirit, like a "date". I had such a blast! We first went to get myself an ever addicting Boba Tea from Moonstone and then went off for a trip to the Water Gardens. As I listened to music on my ipod ( Your grace still amazes me-Matt Boswell, The more I seek you-Kari Jobe, Grace Flows Down, and so on and so on)... I found joy in being alone with Holy Spirit/Jesus. Feeling the warmth of the sunshine on my back as I tranced myself into the constant flowing waters streaming down into a pit, I felt romanced by Him. I read Hebrews (picking up where I last left off) and just having such a love just being with my Heavenly father. I felt such a peace.
The song, " The more I seek you" has made a powerful mark in my heart and life over the past few days. It is a new song to me and just the words of it take me to a place with the Holy Spirit I've never quite felt before. The words amplify my heart and how I long to feel with Christ. This past weekend, I helped co-lead in a Disciple Now retreat and it seems to never fail that I think I learn more than the students I teach do. Brandon Cook spoke Saturday night (he was the guest speaker) and one of the things he used in his sermon was on love. I knew exactly what his parallel was going to be with the activity but still went a long with it. It was amazing to me to see that the teenagers answers were just like mine as a young adult. Some of the answers to what love was to them were: spending time with someone, feeling yourself thinking about this person often, serving them, etc. etc. I could relate to each one of these characterstics more than once and each time I related it to my own life, I realized how temporary and honestly in the end meaningless it all was IN COMPARISON to my relationship with Christ.
I asked myself, how many times do I yearn to spend time with Christ? How often do I jump at the chance to serve him like I do with other guys I take an interest in? Only in the end to feel disappointment and that extra part of me longing for more knowing even if the person I tried so hard to get to persue me actually ever did, thinking to myself, "would it still be enough?". It wasn't until having such an intimate time with the Holy Spirit today did I feel just how much He yearns to spend time with me. He loves seeing me happy even when it's over the smallest things like dogs swimming in water or squirrels running so fast away from me in fear that I may grab the pecan or nut straight out of their mouth. He loves spending time with me and is always thinking about me. He loves it when I ask him for advice and am willing to put His needs before my own selflessly.
For the first time today, I truly felt romanced by Him and a feeling of satisfaction I've never known before. It was quite amazing. It makes me only want to yearn to be with him more and talk with Him more. I am so thankful to have Him in my life especially at the hardest of times. I've recently had to give up a part of me that has been rather difficult but at the same time refreshing knowing no matter what happens in my life whether it goes my way or not, I am going to be okay. God loves me so much that he takes things away from me at times only to show me something even better. Can it be painful?, definitely! Is it worth it? definitely! I'm finally understanding the verse, Pslam 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord". This delight doesn't mean you/I will always be happy (delight) but that we will be delighted knowing the Lord's desires are better than our own and that you/I can rest knowing His way is so much better than our feeble, imperfect ideas/plans.
I hope that through you reading this long blog, the Holy Spirit spoke to your heart telling you that He wants that same relationship with you. He says to us, "I will never leave you or forsake you"(Deuteronomy 31:8). How awesome it is to know that he is always with you/I.
As spontaneous as I am, I'm so glad to know I can always count on Him to go with me wherever I go even if no one else (physically) will.
(By the way... the pics in this blog were taken at the Water Gardens:))
