No place like Home..

Quotes you've heard before, .. " there's no place like home", ... " Home is where the heart is"...these words couldn't be truer!(is that a word?). Today was a tough day... I haven't been myself lately and been struggilng to figure out why. I thought I had thyroid issues (and maybe still do), but while I called my doctor asking questions about my symptoms of sleepiness (even after long hours of rest) and why the lack of appetite... I without knowing was being questioned over other symtoms, while saying yes to many of them, the nurse proceeds to tell me that I just showed several symptoms of not tyroid problems but depression. Needless to say, I didn't take it very well. Me, Heather Morris?... depressed... yeah right! The girls who is (or was) always smiling and laughing?! It's been tough to admit it all to myself. To be frank, I felt like I was in an AA program going through my first step!( NOt that I've had experience first hand wtih that). So,I'm not writing this blog to shout my mentally ill state of mind persay but just to hope for some sort of normalcy. I'd like to say I'm normal (for the most part;)).. I've always been a little different, hehe. One thing is for sure, I want to old fun, carefree Heather back. I never unerstood how someone could be depressed, I thought to myself, " just snap out of it", but now going through it I now understand. My entire world in a way has been turned upside down (positively or negatively), it's not the same at all anymore. I'm not close to my old friends, my family, my roots, my anything.. for the past 2 years I've created my life to what it is today. When I came to Southwestern, it was my first trip ever to Texas. With my youthful spirit, I thought I could do anything. I still believe that just now with a little more thought behind my steps. Don't get me wrong, coming here was defintiely in God's plan and I fully feel like I'm suppose to be here (at least for now), I jsut never thought about the adjustments once I got here. Hopefully, my past and present can start to unwind as I talk my way out of my problems with a stranger. Maybe I should just go to NYC and take the subway, it may save me a little dough talking to a stranger that way;).. jk. My insurance believe it or not actually covers it. So, with free visits, mine as well jump on the bandwagon, right? Maybe thanksgiving dinner will be the remedy too to getting back to me, whoever and whatever that is.

Everyday we change, never knowing what we become until we look back on our lives. Hopefully, one day I'll look back and not cover my eyes in shame but in excitement for His names sake!

I have a few prayer requests tonight:

Manning family- lots of changes and sicknesses

Dad-closeness with Christ, his job, his role as a father and husband.

Friend-blood work

Other Friend- testing for graduation

Nick-marathon this saturday (not to be sore, pace,endurance, strength mentally and physically)

Friend-to come back to Christ and get His life straightened out for God's glory, not his own.

Lindsey Jo-MIssion work, orphans

My roomie-youth, classes, balance, rest

Robert- mother

ALl the Soldiers... thank you for your bravery, strength and love for your country.

I Want My Eyes To Shine..

Have you ever met a person and just thought, wow their eyes shine!, you know what I"m talking about, the person full of excitement and you think to yourself, what's he/she on?! I want some of that! ;).. well, some things I've read this week have really got me thinking, .. you see in Psalm 63:1, it says,( verse 1), "Oh God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my body longs for you; in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Also, in Matthew 6:22-23 it says,
"The eye is the lamp of your body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. (23)But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" SO, what that means to me is if we SEEK Him earnestly and if our body longs for you in a dry and weary land and if we seek to the point and finding peace through HIs assurance then how can we not start to have sparkling eyes for him?;)...

Well, that's my prayer.. I've not been myself for about 5 months or so and I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever be back to my old self again. The person who was free spirited, spontatneous and always smiling. My prayer is for my eyes to shine more for Him and to get past this "feeling" i have.

Thanks for "listening" and praying..

His,

A few big events have now come and gone...

Well since I last blogged, I started classes, passed my written exam for national certification and coordinated the Southwestern Savvy women's event so needless to say I've been just a LITTLE busy but no sweat, life is grand and I'm thankful for getting those things accomplished and behind me.. well for the most part. More than just those things have got myself busy, I've now moved in and decorated the house to look "homey", well my roommate, Skye, and I did. We recently had a back to school party at our place and had over 40 of out friends come, it was a lot of fun:). I'm attending a bilingual church (spanish/english) and helping out with the youth. I'm nervous but looking forward to seeing what God has in store.

My Brother Came To Town!...

Since my last post, I've had plenty of hugs from my "little" brother who came to see me out in Texas which by the way was his first flight ever! I don't think he minded it much either. He has a big help with me moving into my new apartment. I didn't slave him the entire time, we did go out to eat quite a bit, to the water gardens, wildcats game, working out/played tennis, pool, and believe it or not watched a few movies-good chill time. I didn't get to finish his blanket as I had planned which was kind of a bummer but it will get done at some point.

This morning was the best weather, the clouds were out and it was just great. I sat out on my "porch" like a retired old lady soaking up some reading. A verse I want to share with you taht I read is Psalm 56:3, it reads, " When I am afraid, I will trust in you." I dont' like to admit much that I'm afraid of things because it shows weakeness but the truth is I'm afraid of a lot more things that I many times care to admit, so reading this verse was a weight off my shoulders.

I found a church home... big blessing.. looking forward to seeing God do His thang with my weakling self. " When I am weak, he is strong".

Take care and God bless!,

Heather

My Love language...

Many of you I'm sure have read or heard of the book/workbook " The Five Love Languages".In case you want to take the survey too.. Well, just in case you needed a refresher of what they are.. here goes: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gifts, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch. Most men from what I've heard are typically physical touch. Women tend to be acts of service, well... I guess I'm a "dude" because my top love language is physical touch according to the survey I completed a few weeks ago. I think that is why it's been so hard for me for awhile no,here in Texas, without someone who I can count on to live with, check on me, hug me, you know. I'm not trying to throw a pity party, to be frank, I'm just trying my best to figure out what my deal is with my lack of personality lately. The funny thing is most people are typically one love language or another but for me, . I was pretty "needy" all across the board so I guess sleeping, eating and working all the time is just starting to wear on me. I'm hoping once classes begin again it wil take my mind off of myself so much and more on other people like it should be anyway. I know I'm not here in this world to be catered to but to cater others. Once again I just need to remind myself that there are people way worse off than myself and to look on the bright side. Thinking of all the kids in Africa and how many are literally dying due to lack of touch. Crazy! Not that I'm going to die, but it just shows how serious/needed it is for humankind to be physically touched.

Let me know your love langauge if you google "love language surveys" to see or if you already know. I didn't expect mine to be physical touch but after doing the survey I completely agree with it. Have fun with it.

Summer's Almost Gone...

"Time flys by when your having fun".. Classes are coming up fast. At Southwestern they begin August 21st. I have a big test coming up August 25th I'm preparing for and trying my best not to freak myself out over my brother coming to see me in less than a week without his blanket complete! Eek! I'll be ready when it's complete not that I havent' enjoyed doing it, I'm just ready to see the end project. I guess it's much like life, huh. We hurry through life only because we are so anxious at paying off debt, completing our degree to be out in the "real world" only to find out that the real world can be a very scary place all the while wondering if or when you'll be married or if already married when you'll have a baby or whatver the case may be you get my drift. There seems to be more and more people as days go by bringing up the topic of choice, Recession, and following along with the words,"well if we're not in it I'd hate to see what it's like". While driving to work today as I drank a starbucks drink merely because I was driving by and felt like having a caffeine/coffee rush before work. As I drove to work with gas in my tank, the ac on, radio blaring, cellphone by my side, starbucks drink in my hand I realized just how spoiled I was. How many people can just grab a starbucks drink just because they feel like it or even have a car to go through the drive thru for it? I once heard the percentage of people who own a car in the world and well I dont' remember the exact number but know that it was a VERY low percentage. I complain about so many things hourly, daily, weekly that when it comes down to what I'm complaining about, it clearly DOESN'T MATTER. Who cares if I'm single? Just because I think i'm " behind" doesn't mean I am. Who cares if I don't have kids? Who says having these things makes life any less complicated anyway? Life is waht it is and I firmly believe it's what you make of it. A goal I'm going to do my best at before this year is up is to work hard at what I do but make time for things that maybe I dont' have to make time for but want to, to help others in need or to put a smile on someone elese face other than my own. Have you ever heard someone say that the harder you work at not becoming what you don't want to become.. the more likely you become it anyways if not careful? Well, if you haven't, . maybe I made it up? but the point is I think I've become so closeminded with my own priorities that I've neglected everything else I ever or aspired to did/do.

I'm moving in an apartment soon ( next week) in fact, maybe I can start through hospitality and being a listening ear. I talk enough for two people at times, it's time for me to take a back seat.

A Different Perspective

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