Struggling to Praise

I hear songs on the radio playing... " I don't wanna go through the motions.. "and I sing it loudly as my prayer to Christ Jesus that as I live my life daily living some type of motion, that it will be a mustard seed size of satisfaction in His eyes. I must say, "It's hard to be a woman in America, and at the same time, it's hard to be a woman in Africa"(singer-Alli Rogers,"Tanzania"). I feel my sword becoming dull and my armor beaten from all that life "gives". I see the world with all of it's desperation and disappointment with people wondering, "How'd I get here?" What steps did I take? I often see so much at once that in return I feel suffocation sinking in wondering if I'll ever feel release from all of life's "offerings". I seek to serve in a world full of "needs", where routine is the norm and going with the flow is waking up, getting yourself (and your kids) ready,"quiet time"/if any, hitting rushhour to get to work;Loving your job or possibly hating it, I don't know your situation, only to finish a days worth of routine and motions only to start it all over again. I can't help but ask the Lord if this is really what Life is all about. Is this the greatness of the Lord? I see yes, .. and I see no. Work is good! It says in His word!, Genesis 2:2, 2:15, ... But I am in search of what the word,WORK means to God and what the word, WORK means to the world. I don't type this to talk bad about working, like I said work is good and if you( and I) can work serving the Lord then that much more to praise Him! I often forget my importance and am bogged down with the future, the what if's, the "yet to be done" and am struggling with the "Praise Him!" part. I want to praise Him when I'm happy and when I'm stressed ,when I'm sick and when I'm scared. As Matt Chandler put it very well in one of his sermons, I want to come to my Heavenly Father looking up, not out, with arms open wide saying, as a child ( of God), I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm scared. I don't have it all together and honestly I know never will but praise Jesus I know who does and forever will. My prayer today is to rest in his mercy and goodness. For Him to owe nothing to me but His presence, knowing when I'm scared, He's right there, when I'm lonely, His word told me, He'd never leave me. Thank you Lord for your comfort through the sunshine and the rain. You pour down your love and the least I can do is offer you Praise..

-Your broken Child.

As I carry on..

I'm back to my ol' stomping ground and I must say I am feeling much more like myself:). Being in Texas was a wonderful journey God took me on and with that in mind, I have no regrets. I have often referenced Texas in several conversations while back home in NC. I somewhat feel like "Texas" is my ex boyfriend's name. I've said the word Texas so much that even I am tired of hearing, "In Texas....". I can't help but laugh though knowing the memories in Texas are still with me even if I'm not with Texas. I guess the Texans were right, "I can leave Texas, but Texas won't leave me".

Since I've been home, I've been busy working. In a new place, with a new office, new co-workers and pretty much everything around me is... well.. new. I'm enjoying my time with my family and recognizing how much more I appreciate them than before. I now am clearly aware that I must accept all people as Christ does, just as they are. Counting others better than myself with constant humility towards my Savior(Philippians 2:3). Have I mastered this? By no means! Will I ever?probably not. Should I just quit while ahead? No way. If that were the case, Christ should have given up on me a long time ago!

My pastor at my church here in NC preached two days ago on how Jesus is Savior but how it is up to us to make Him LORD. That really hit home for me. Making Him LORD ,to me, meant submiting everything to Him. I must confess, here lately it's not been the case as much in my life. My mind has been so preoccupied with work that I've barely had a chance to catch my breath leaving my "quiet time" with God slim to none. It's made me question my motives as I adjust to being back home. I literally fear slipping back into an old routine or away from my heavenly Father. He knows I'm exhausted from my new job but I know as His child that not making time for Him is not an acceptable excuse. If I am to put Him first in everything I do, then whether I'm in the shower, car or in my office, I am to praise Him, talk to Him and submit to His will every step of the way.

As I come before you as a child saved by grace, broken and weary, I pray that I lead my life from this day forward completely SOLD OUT in all I do for my Savior and LORD, Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Craigslist Junkie

I'm beginning to have an obsession with craigslist (to say the least).. I particularly love the "free" section. While looking for one person's junk and my "treasure" I have ran across some rather interesting ads. I'm convinced that if I continue in my obsession i'll find even more "interesting" ads such as the ones below that I assume will make you laugh out loud. Don't get me wrong I think it's great to think of others before throwing something "of value" away. I think the funniest part in all of it is actually taking time out to take a picture and then to post and add comments along with these free things.. I can definitely see how selfish I am in regards to thinking that much of someone else to give something (at times so senesless) away for free instead of just trashing it. Through these funny comments and pics.. I'm also humbled and come more and more to the reality of how bad our economy is and how honestly the entire world is. May we seek to be resourceful with the things we count as senseless and petty so recycling and thinking of others will in turn make our world a better place. But still.. as we do these things.. laughter may come! I know a few of people that laugh at me when I make trash into treasure and I know a few who are like that as well but for their sake will not mention names, haha.

Enjoy!

Craigslist Advertiser posts:

"About 6 or so, still in the bag, but bag is, of course, opened. Boy colors. If you would like to leave a Dr pepper, that would ROCK!"


and no lie.. I found this pic in with an assortment of things for sale..





HAHAHAHAHA!!!

A journal entry...

I'm sure you've heard the saying, ... " Time flys when you're having fun".. the thing is, time is consistent,forever,never changing, never ending. Time was created by God and through time came the sun and moon. I never worry about the sunrising or setting so the moon can light up the sky because I know it will always be there, even if one of the two are hard to find. There's no doubt in my mind they are there. The sun and the moon are a lot like the God of the Universe. He is always there, he's consistent, never changing, never ending. I may not see him as easily as other times but that doesn't mean he's not there for me. Through the sun, warmth and light is given and by the moon a light glow and coolnessi s given. Both can be appreciated. The moon is so neat to me, it gives off this " nightlight" effect across the entire world. God created a " nightlight" for his child. How cool is that?" As an adult I often think of a nightlight as something weak, childlike, and for people who are scared. I never stopped to think of a nightlight as something of importance. In the darkness I can stumble over things and hurt myselfbut if the nightlight is lighting my way I can dodge those " stumbling blocks" because the "nightlight" (Jesus) is guiding me and revealing me the places to go to avoid the hurt.

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden." Matthew 5:14

May Already?!?...

Lots has been going on while out here in Texas for the 2009 year.

I have taken a break from seminary for the semester in order to take care of some finances but my plans are to continue in the fall. Due to bills "LIFE"... I will be attending part time until graduation. As of now, it looks like I could be out here as late as August 2011 or even December 2011!

I've been working for three different companies since the new year and been very blessed with one job let alone three. I'm living in an on-campus apartment with a friend of mine from Tennessee. She is getting married in June so I will soon be without a roommate. As of today, I have a roomate for when I'm roommateless!! Such an answered prayer! The Lord's timing is so perfect:)

Lately, I've gotten some great opportunities despite my busy-ness with work to witness to people I've seen out and about. A "nail tech" I met about a month ago, anthony, from vietnam, came to church with me on Easter Sunday and my friend Karis ( Asian) came with us out to lunch, we were able to share with him the gospel in more depth. When I met him while getting my nails done, I found out that he had never heard of the name of Jesus before. I felt like I had stepped into a third world country but no, it was just my " back door". Boy did God show me what was up that day!

There are two other people/women that I have had great opportunity to share Christ with, one waitress, Maria, from Steak and Shake (frequently go there on tuesday nights late with groups of friends) and then on wednesday night "bowling night",with some friends, I've gotten the chance to witness to a woman by the name, Fati (pronouned Fa-tee), she works at the snack bar. She is from Algeria. Both are wonderful women who just need the love of Christ poured out on them:).Please pray that God will allow more doors to be opened in order for relationships to grow and for not myself or any other person but Jesus Christ glorified.

Some of you know about my church experiences while being out here. They have all been quite unexpected but great nonetheless, however due to differing situations, I felt the Lord leading me to find a different home church as of January of this year. I visited this one church a few months and as of March decided after researching their background and beliefs to become a member. The name of the church is Hallmark Baptist Church. I can't say enough wonderful things about them. If any of you ever want to take a trip out to Texas, I'd love for you to visit:). Their website is www.hbcfw.org . I've never experienced such a missions minded church. It's really neat to be so plugged into helping people locally, nationally and throughout the world. This church has become my family, I guess you'd say. Everyone is so friendly. I think I meet around five new people or more each week!

Mother's Day is just around the corner... and I can't wait! I get to see my MOMMA!!:) Yippee! I miss her so much!

Update

New News since I last blogged....

Went to two concerts... Soul Stash and Tyrone Wells/Jason Reeves/Chris August/The Autumn Film. I heard about Soul Stash through my friend, Chad. His brother is actually the lead vocalist in the band. They're really good. Tyrone Wells was the main person I went to see at the other concert. He is one of my favorite singers. I enjoy his style. While I was there, I was able to find a new favorite, Chris August. He has a lot of potential and will go far in his career I believe. You should check all three of them out. Good stuff. www.soulstashmusic.com , www.tyronewells.com , and www.myspace.com/chrisaugustmusic .

I've joined the church I've been visiting...Hallmark baptist Church www.hbcfw.org ..This church is the most geuinely God-centered churches I have ever known. The pasotr has been serving there for 15 years and with his zeal and excitement for telling others about Jesus, you would have thought he came straight out of Seminary or something. He is definitley plugged into the light source. I'm looking forward to growing and learning and serving within the church body at Hallmark.

The usual.. work... and work.. and work a little more.. but Praise Jesus I have a job!..

Lots to be thankful for..

Prayer Request:

Karis (baby girl stil in the womb).- she doesn't have a skull. She is alive in her mother's womb however as soon as she is born she won't survive unelss a miracle happens, which can happen if God wants that to happen, if not, please pray that through this precious baby girl's death family members and others will be changed by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Friend, Sarah- Traveling ( driving from Georgia to DFW.

Dad-Salvation

Lindsey Jo-Kenya and those she is in contact with. May her love for Christ shine brightly.

Friend, Robert/Shanda- each of them have a parent who they have lost. (Mother's Day and Father's Day will be here soon).

Soldiers-safety, peace, salvation

DNOW...

Tomorrow I will be leading a group of juniors (high school girls) for a DiscipleNow retreat. Please pray for Christ to be seen through my words and actions. I love doing DiscipleNow's, I carry something with me each time I lead one. I can't wait to see what all God has planned for this weekend! I'm ready for him to rock my world as well as the youth, the leaders and host families all involved!